Lately, I find that I am obsessive about issues affecting the economics and politics of Nigeria. I am impatient with news coverage, domestic or international, and carry with me a building sense of anxiety. I wake with it, sleep with it and go about my days with it. It is interesting that this feeling, that has me typing this piece at two o’clock in the morning as 2013 comes to a close, is one that I did not have 18 months ago, when I left Nigeria for the UK on a sabbatical.
I left my heart in Nigeria, with every intention of coming back home, and there has never been a desire to build a new life elsewhere. So nowadays, this sense of what sometimes feels like panic follows me. I am afraid, I believe, of two things. First, that time is running out. Second, that this feeling will build up until I explode, an internal combustion of sorts. Until I am scattered in a thousand pieces and strewn alongside dusty roads spread across the length and breadth of my country. No hyperbole here — that is how I imagine it.